सोफिया

रंग दिखाए तुमने मुझे ज़िन्दगी के ऐसे
काली रात भी अब रंगीन हो गयी है
सपने दिखाए तुमने मुझे सुनहरे
की मेरी ऑंखें भी मदहीन हो गयी है
क्या सच है और क्या झूठ यह मालूम नहीं
लेकिन हर बात तुम्हारी अच्छी लगने लगी है
हंसी तुम्हारी अनमोल है इतनी
की हर चीज़ अब हसीन हो गयी है
दिल कहता है मत सोचो इतनी गहराई में
जी लो हर पल को जो मिला है तुम्हे
आज की ज़िन्दगी ही सच्चाई है
ये वक़्त जो मिला है सिर्फ तुम्हारा है
इन्तज़ार है मुझे तुम्हारे आने का
हर पल तुम्हारे साथ बिताने का
तुम ख्वाब नहीं अब हकीक़त बन गयी हो
हर लम्हे में जीने की जरूरत बन गयी हो

एहसास

आज मेरे घर में तन्हाई नहीं दिख रही
शायद कमरे में कोई और भी रहने लगा है
हर चीज़ पे मेरी किसी की उँगलियों के निशान हैं
खुशबू महक रही है जानी पहचानी सी कोई
वो हर पल जो तुम पास नहीं थे मेरे, मेरे पास है
मेरे साथ मेरा इंतज़ार भी सांस ले रहा है

Expectations and Realities - Before and After Marriage

Relationship is a very beautiful word and gives a feeling of belongingness to most of us. There are so many different kinds of relationships existing in this world. When a guy and a gal meet in their teenage and start liking each other, they form a relationship. Usually, this relationship continues for some time. The liking for each other develops into love and then they decide to go further with marriage. With the change in the name and status of relationship, a lot of other things also change. Human being, as always, has been reluctant to accept changes and this change being brought by the change in marital status spoils the existing relationship, if not understood properly.

How to understand a relationship? A relationship is understood by understanding the elements of the relationship, which are love, care, time, importance, etc. Each of these elements is vital for survival of the relationship and nourishes the relationship to make it beautiful. Let us take an example of a relationship in which everything exists except the couple does not have time for each other. Unless you share time, everything else become meaningless and your partner gets used to not seeing you most of the time in routine life. After a while, your presence will bother your partner as you have made your partner not used to see you around. For every relationship, it is necessary to have all the elements in right proportion and the expectations are built and kept in limit.

The differences between expectations and reality before and after marriage are wide. The reason for these differences is that the expectations from the partner increases after marriage, whereas the reality is that we start taking our partner for granted after marriage. Once you start taking your partner for granted, you do not show the love and care as before and you also cut down on the time you used to spend with your partner before marriage. These changes make the relationship bitter. For an example, a guy love to send flowers to his girlfriend on every occasion. He remembers the dates when they met, when they talked first, when he proposed, etc. After marriage, the guy forgets his partner’s birthday, their marriage anniversary and so on. This drastic change has catastrophic effect on the relationship.

Let us see some of the responsibilities shared between partners before and after marriage and the repercussions of change on the relationship. A guy always makes sure to pick and drop his girlfriend to workplace, whenever required. They both care for the family members of each other. In many cases, they also share the financial needs without making each other feel the burden. After marriage, they find the same expectations as obligations, which they are not willing to take for each other. They start feeling that these obligations are hindering their own growth and squeezing their personal space. With time, the partner’s expectations get shattered and the changes in behavior become obvious. Most of the time, these changes come out as fights and arguments. They start avoiding family and friends and even find it tough to share the expenses for the partner.

Commitment makes a relationship stronger and also helps in developing trust and respect between partners. We always expect commitment from our partner before getting into relationship. These commitments are the base on which the building of relationship stands. You always want your partner to be loyal to you. In addition, you want your partner to be caring and true irrespective of the phase of your life. Before marriage, it is easy to commit as you can only think about the responsibilities but cannot feel the reality of responsibilities. We cannot see each and every dimension of our commitments unless we start to live a married life. In many cases, it is not easy for the partners to take the reality of commitments. This makes it very important to understand the commitment very well before getting into a relationship. You should give ample time to each other and discuss each and every aspect of the commitment. You should be able to see the elements which may bother you in future and how to mitigate the ill-effect of those elements of hindrance.

It is very important to share information accurately to your partner. If you have anything in your mind, which you think might affect your married life later, do not hesitate in sharing. It is a fact that if you discuss a potential problem beforehand, you might have the solution, or you can also take precautions. Many times, a small problem which is ignored in the initial stages turns out to be disaster later on. Take an example of a couple where the guy has a child from previous marriage but he has not discussed it before marrying the girl. After few months of their marriage, the girl gets to know about this and was surprised and shocked as she was never told before. If the guy had discussed it before marriage then the girl might have happily accepted the truth. But, accepting a lie is not easy and always leaves a dirty spot on your relationship. Be true, precise and sensitive while sharing information. The more openness you show in your relationship, the more beautiful it becomes. In addition, the chance of remaining it beautiful after marriage also increases.

The essence of any relationship is its elements. To make the relationship beautiful and worthy, you have to nourish it with truth, love, care and time. There are a lot of expectations you have from your partners. You want your partner to be the one who fulfill all your dreams and desires. There is nothing wrong in it unless you are also willing to come to the expectations of your partner. You should also understand that your partner has similar expectations, dreams and desires you need to fulfill. The clarity of expectations and understanding the differences between expectations and realities makes the relationship works for both the partners.

Online Shopping

Again, it is time to share something. Today, I will share my online shopping experiences. I started purchasing online when I was in college. I used the Web site www.rediff.com. I ordered a piece of shirt, which was attractive in the display picture. When it reached, the color was dull, the material so cheap and size smaller than I asked for. My 400-500 rupees were wasted. When I complained, they wanted me to spend money on returning the defective item and then they will replace. I doubted and didn’t return. Few months after that, I purchased a walkman with inbuilt speakers, which was priced very cheap on www.rediff.com. The walkman I received was cheap in everything. The erring sound would blow my ears with the extra noise, which I did not pay for. I stopped purchasing online.

Two years back, I came across Web sites, www.futurebazaar.com and www.indiaplaza.in. I started with small purchases and this time the world was totally different. These sites sell their items at a very competitive price and provide you with a lot of options to choose from. They sell products of all the good brands available in the market. In addition to this, they provide excellent customer service. Futurebazaar replaces your item, if found defective, and they arrange for the pickup of defective item and delivery of fresh item without any extra charges. They pack the items nicely for safety in transportation and send the items via one of the best courier service providers. I must have purchased items worth thousands, which include pressure cooker, printer, mixer-grinder, camera, etc. I never had any complains till now. They are prompt to reply and you can always connect to them on the customer service numbers.

Meanwhile, I again tried www.rediff.com for shopping and to my surprise they are still the same. To begin with, they do not have any customer service number or email id to contact. They will provide you the sellers email id and numbers which will never work. So once you have paid money to them, there is no way in this world you can catch them. Moreover, you can give feedback for the seller, and if your feedback is good it is published else it is not. I guess this was my last shopping experience with rediff.com. I have also tried www.indiatimes.com twice and their service is good.

My suggestion would be to check the sites www.futurebazaar.com and www.indiaplaza.in, compare the prices including the courier charges and then place the order if you find it better than you can get it in your local shops. There are also some good modes of payments such as http://www.paymate.co.in or http://www.giftmate.co.in, which rolls out attractive offers at times.

Happy online shopping.

टूटे ख्वाब

आज मेरे कुछ ख्वाब टूट गए
क्यूँ मैं जीता था इस उम्मीद में
कि मेरे ख्वाब में परियां होंगी
जबकि मेरे उम्मीद की कोई सतह ही नहीं

ख्वाब की परियों के पर नहीं होते
बिना किसी अपेक्षा के प्यार नहीं होता
होता नहीं बिना जीवनचक्र का कोई रिश्ता
सहारा कोई भी जीवन भर का नहीं होता

अब जी नहीं करता मेरा सोने को
वो ख्वाब बार बार वापस आते है
और सिर्फ नींद में ही नहीं
वो अब जागते हुए भी सताते हैं

अब मैं किसी ख्वाब में जीना नहीं चाहता
मरना भी नहीं मुझे किसी ख्वाब में
ना ही इंतजार करता हूँ उस पल का मैं
क्यूंकि हर पल उस इंतजार का बहुत ही दुखदाई है

मेरे ख़्वाब

आज मैंने तुम्हारे ख़्वाब देखें
ख़्वाब में तुम्हे बार बार देखें
क्या बात है मैं समझ नहीं पाया
लेकिन हर बात में सिर्फ़ तुम्हे ही पाया

क्यूँ अब मुझे यह अजीब नहीं लगता
कि हमारे बीच कुछ भी तो नहीं
वह सबके समझ के परे ही सही
लेकिन फ़िर भी है वह सबसे बढ़कर

मैं उम्मीद भी नहीं करता किसी से
कि समझे वो मेरी बातों को
समझे हमारे रिश्ते को
या फ़िर मेरे इरादे को

तुम मेरी ख़्वाब में ऐसे ही आना हर बार
मुझे रहेगा तुम्हारा हर रात इंतज़ार
उस इंतज़ार के पल को भी जीना चाहता हूँ
कि अब मैं उस ख़्वाब के लिए ख़्वाब में ही मरना चाहता हूँ

Valentine’s Day Special

For many, the special day has arrived. Though, everyone has different reasons. Few waiting to celebrate their love, few waiting to find their love, few waiting to make business out of love and last but the most talked about are the people preparing since a month to stop you from doing anything connecting love.

I remember, it was around 25th December and I was in Brigade Road, Bangalore. I was surprised to see that all the shops were empty. Nobody care to buy gifts, chocolates, not even a greeting card. The reason was recession in US and Bangalore being an IT city, also known as the Silicon Valley of India, was worst hit. Many lost their job and rest would have been waiting to lose in coming months. The celebration mood was missing. Everyone wanted to save any money left with them for the days when buying a kilo of rice and dal would make more sense than a bottle of beer or a few tequila shots.

Today, 13th February, I was in Forum Mall, Bangalore and was surprised to see the people and the enthusiasm with which they were shopping for their loved ones. The recession is still in its peak. So, why this sudden change. Though, I am the last person to comment on political issues, but here I would like to thank the people protesting against Valentine’s Day celebrations. If it has not been there, then people would never have got so much energy to enjoy this Valentine’s Day. Nobody bothered about recession anymore; at least not till this Valentine’s Day is over. Either you have to protest the Valentine’s Day celebrations or you have to stand against the moral police. Now, every shop is full of customers; not to forget the additional customers looking for Pink Chaddis. Everyone is excited about what is going to happen tomorrow. I am also excited as a spectator. My only wish is that everyone enjoys the drama, no one is hurt, and everyone remains safe.

I remember a song, which I heard long time back “Tayyab Ali Pyar Ka Dushman Hai Hai.”
Wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

एक ख्याल

आज अचानक मेरे मन में ख्याल आया कि पता नहीं मैं जो लिखता हूँ किसी को पसंद भी आता होगा या नहीं। फ़िर सोचा, यह जरुरी तो नहीं की मेरा हर लेख उत्तम कोटि का हो। यह भी जरुरी नहीं कि मेरे सारे लेख सभी लोगों को अच्छा लगे। अगर मेरा एक post भी किसी एक इंसान को पसंद आया हो तो मैं अपना लिखना सफल मानूंगा और जी भरकर लिखता रहूँगा। मुझे यकीन है की गुलज़ार के dustbin में भी कितनी कहानियाँ दम तोड़ देती होगी।

तुम और हम

तुम क्यूँ नहीं समझती की हमारे सपने अलग हैं
तुम क्यूँ नहीं समझती की हमारी पसंद भी एक नहीं
चिडियों की चहचहाह्ट मुझे भाता नहीं हैं
पहाङो की खुशबू भी कभी मैंने समझा नहीं

हम इतने अलग होकर भी क्यूँ चाहते हैं पास आना
क्यूँ लगता हैं की तुम्हारे बीना जी नहीं पाउँगा
जबकि हम दोनों को मालूम हैं यह कड़वी सच्चाई
की हम साथ रहकर भी कभी खुश नहीं रह पाएंगे

शायद ये मान लेना हीं हम दोनों के लिए अच्छा हैं
की हर कोशिश के बाद भी यह सच्चाई बदल नहीं सकती
तुम मेरे कितना कहने पर भी मीठा नहीं खाओगी
और पिंक कलर का शर्ट मुझे कभी पसंद नहीं आएगा

Anger Pays

I do not know why I want to share this experience of my life. One reason could be that maybe I gained and I am interested to share my recipe with the world.

I finished with my school and joined A.N.College, Patna for a bachelor’s degree. This was my first chance to study in a co-ed environment after spending 12 golden years in a boy’s school. In a class of 30 students, there were 22 guys and 8 girls. Not a bad ratio for a place like Patna. With a humble look and good in studies, it was not a problem for me to be in the good books of everyone. In 8 girls, 4 girls were typical ‘Bahenji’ and it was not a surprise when they offered to tie ‘Rakhi’ very next week we started talking. Now, I understood the meaning of prayer I used to recite all 12 years of my school days, “With him as our common Father, we are brothers and sisters to one another”. Even the married women were not ready to take any chance and offered the same.

I was left with 4 options and I zeroed in on one based on certain criteria such as eyes, height, color, etc. Though, later on I realized that she was using a contact lens of power -8, almost next to blind and was 3 years older to me. Somehow, my love story started with exchanging notes and assignments. I started working hard to be among the toppers and kept my jealousy alive for guys, who were potential threat, either with better looks or better brains. Regular chocolates and occasional gifts were also essential to have a lead over others.

After working hard on notes and assignments for an year, I though it was the best time to know if she loves me or not. One beautiful morning, I called her 30 minutes before our first lecture used to start and asked her what she thinks about us. As an obvious answers—though at that time I didn’t realize that it was an obvious answer—she said that we are good friends. And that was end of another love story. I was filled with anger from tip to toes. How can someone do this to me? At least, she could have said that she loves me? The world knows about our love story, my colleagues, juniors, lab assistant, professors, and even the peons. Though everyone made fun and it was more a topic of humor than love and romance.

From next day, I completely stopped talking to her. Not a single word for the next two years. I was adamant. She tried many time using various means but it was me. Two years, same class, but we have not exchanged a single word. It was tough but I made it. I was mad at her, I was upset but more than that I had to show that my love was true and the setback is real. If u cannot be a Devdas then it must be infatuation, not true love. I tried my best to grow my beard, look upset, and be alienated from all groups and social activities. Tryst me, this gives you a lot of satisfaction. You started finding pleasure in pain. And this is because your every action is guided by the failure you came across in life. Your failure becomes a part of your existence. You get addicted to pains and start feeling good that the pain is there with you. All these feelings were going well as planned until I met some of my successful friends who are always close to my heart as well as always touched the sky whenever n wherever they wanted in life. I got inspired and my failure turned into anger and fuelled my inspiration to achieve success in life. Then, my only aim was to have the best career in life, become the most successful person and show my girl–what she lost was worth much more attention and she has regret her whole life. Today, I can only laugh that how silly was I? How silly were my wishes? But I am glad that I did.

There are two ways to react after a break-up in relationship. First, cry, feel low, hurt yourself, and regret as he/she cannot be yours and you are incapable. Last but not the least, you can commit suicide. Now, you are a perfect looser in your eyes. Second, take a reverse gear, he/she does not deserve you, you can have a lot better options, and he/she was just someone trying to use you for own benefit and you are lucky that you are out of it. Now, it is time to show what you are worth. You have to prove this to him/her, to the world. As first option did not work for me, I went for the second one. To a surprise, it worked so well, I started studying for 15-16 hours. For the next one year, I put my all energy to crack entrance examinations for PG courses. The result, I made into several written and finally got selected for BIT, Mesra. To my surprise, I did not even remember her birthday. Today, it is almost 11 years since this incidence and I smile whenever I look back. It was either too childish or foolishness but we all go through the same situation at least once in our life. You feel dejected and the only person who loses in this kind of situation is none other than thyself. I do not know if I was right or wrong but what I gained is worth. I do not have any regret and I achieved whatever I wanted. Never blame yourself for whatever went wrong in your life. There are always a thousand things to cry and a thousand things to smile at any moment of your life. Let’s find the reason to be happy. Let’s make the best of everything we have. If something such as anger can be turned into so much profitable business, there are opportunities everywhere and in everything.

उर्वशी, मेरा पहला प्यार

उर्वशी, मेरा पहला प्यार! माफ़ कीजिये, हमारा पहला प्यार। चौकियेगा नहीं यह मेरा और मेरे परम मित्र का सच्चा combined प्यार है। बात 1995 की है जब मैं 11वी कक्षा में पढ़ रहा था। पढ़ना क्या था बस admission हीं लिया था। मेरा मित्र मुझसे उम्र में बस 1 महिना बड़ा था लेकिन वो बहुत ज्ञानी था। यहां तक की हमारे class के सारे backbenchers भी उसकी ज्ञान का लोहा मानते थे। Teenagers की सारे प्रश्नो और समास्याओं का समाधान था उसके पास। मैं हालाँकि बहुत हीं शरीफ़ लोगों में जाना जाता था लेकिन इस उम्र में किसे प्यार नहीं होता। नहीं हुआ तो आपकी मर्दांगी पर लोग शक करते हैं। चलिये हम अपने परम मित्र की बड़ाई बाद में करेंगे। अभी वापस उर्वशी पर concentrate करते हैं।

हमांरें स्कूल के बिल्कुल सामने एक girls स्कूल था। घर वापस जाने के लिए मैं और मेरा मित्र रोज़ स्कूल के सामने से टेम्पू पकड़ते थे। एक दिन जब हम टेम्पू का wait कर रहे थे तभी एक लड़की हमारी बगल में खड़ी हो गई। उम्र 13-14 साल की रही होगी। वैसे ये हमेशा हमांरें बीच विवाद का विषय बना रहा की उस लड़की को पहले किसने देखा। क्यूंकि by law जिसने लड़की पहली देखी वो उसकी होती है। बाकी सब उसे केवल भाभी की नज़र से देख सकते है। आज मैं झूठ नहीं बोलूँगा की वो लड़की असल में मेरे दोस्त की हीं खोज थी। लेकिन उस समय मैं भी अड़ गया की मैंने भी साथ में हीं देखा। खैर फ़िर हमने decide किया की हम दोनों try करेंगे और बाकी लड़की की पसंद।

उपरवाले का खेल भी बड़ा निराला होता है। मेरी किस्मत ऐसी चमकी की वो लड़की भी टेम्पू से वहीं उतरी जहाँ मुझे उतरना था। मेरी तो चाँदी हो गई। एक पल के लिए लगा की पांचो ऊँगली घी में और सिर कड़ाही में। अब हम दोनों में से उस लड़की का नाम तो किसी को पता नहीं था। और पूछने की हिम्मत तो शायद मुझे इस जनम में कभी नहीं होगी। लड़की से नाम पूछा और उसने अपने बड़े भाई को बोलकर पीटवा दिया फ़िर हमारी इज्ज़त का क्या होगा। या फ़िर पुलिस में complain कर दे फ़िर हमारी तो सारे जग में थू थू हो जायेगी। तो इन सब झमेलों से बचने के लिए हमने उसका नामकरण ख़ुद हीं कर दिया। उन दिनों एक picture आई थी हमसे है मुकाबला। उसका एक गाना हम दोनों को बहुत पसंद था, "Urvashi, Urvashi take it easy Urvashi". उस गाने से inspire होकर हमने उसका नाम उर्वशी रख दिया। फ़िर तो मैं रोज़ अच्छे से नहा धोकर साफ़ सुथरे कपड़े पहन कर जाने लगा। क्या पता किसी दिन किस्मत चमक जाए और टेम्पू में बगल की सीट पर उर्वशी हो। कितने दिन तो मैंने अपने दोस्त को चिढाने के लिए story बना दी की आज मैं उर्वशी के बगल में बैठ कर आया और उससे बहुत सारी बात हुई।

धीरे धीरे हमने पता कर लिया की उर्वशी का घर कौन सा है। उसके घर के सामने हीं एक साइकिल पंक्चर की दुकान थी। फ़िर हर शाम मैं अपनी साइकिल लेकर निकल जाता हवा भरवाने। नज़र साइकिल पर कम और सड़क के उस पार उर्वशी के बरामदे में ज्यादा होता था। माँ दुर्गा से लेकर हनुमान जी को याद करता की एक बार दिख जाए। कभी साइकिल पंक्चर हुई फ़िर तो 1 घंटा दुकान पर बैठ कर उर्वशी का इंतज़ार करता। कभी कभी कोई उसके बरामदे में दिखता तो आँखों की पुतलियाँ बढ़ जाती। यह सिलसिला चलता रहा। मेरी साइकिल का पंक्चर भी बढ़ता रहा। उर्वशी ने शायद 10 वी की परीक्षा पास कर ली और उसका स्कूल जाना बंद हो गया। अगले 6 महीने तक उर्वशी अपने बरामदे में भी नहीं आई। फ़िर अचानक एक दिन बजाज स्कूटर पर पिछली सीट पर उर्वशी नज़र आई। वो साड़ी में थी और थोड़ी सहमी हुई भी थी। थोड़ी नज़दीक आई तो देखा उसके माथे पर सिन्दूर था। स्कूटर चलाने वाला उसका पति होगा। उर्वशी ने एक नज़र मुझे देखा और थोड़ी सी घूँघट निकाल ली। उस घूँघट के साथ मेरी यह प्रेम कहानी भी समाप्त हो गई। मेरे दोस्त को दुःख भी हुआ और खुशी भी। आज भी मुझे अपने सबसे अच्छे दोस्त से धोका देने के लिए गालिया सुनने को मिलती है। ये तो वहीं बात हुई ना माया मिली ना राम।

Yes, I Can be Wrong

It’s 4:21 PM and I am still sleeping. I know it’s a Sunday and I am supposed to relax but the reason is a little different today. Last night, I was reading a book and slept at 05:00 AM today morning. Not a usual thing for me. Neither had I read book in last six months nor did I wake up so late everyday. What was so special then?

One of my close friend suggested me (rather forced me) to read a book ‘A Walk to Remember’. Trust me, until now I have used a book only for the purpose to get a good night sleep. It works for me better than sleeping pills. Three to four pages are enough to leave me snoring. I started reading the book and in five days I completed ten pages. That’s me! Then, I do not what happened last night. Sometimes it is a do or die situation in your life and I believe in doing (only if the second option is dying). I started reading the book around 2:00 AM and finished the books in flat three hours. That’s also me! It’s a record, though personal one. And these three hours included time when I cried several times, felt the emotions, and also remembered someone special in my life. I don’t know why I did it but may be “God had a plan for me”. This was a beautiful love story. Not a very unique in every sense—in a way, a lot of other stories and movies had left me more touched and made me shed bucket of tears—but still I would call this one really beautiful.

Hope you are not wondering, why this topic is named ‘Yes I Can be Wrong’, when till now you haven’t read that I murdered someone by mistake. Seems like a Govinda movie when you can expect an item number just after the mourning. Let’s find a connection. When I woke up in the afternoon—after reading this book—I was thinking how short life could be? How much time we have to say sorry for our mistakes? When is the last time I said sorry to my mom for I shouted at her and the mistake was mine?

I think myself as a perfectionist. I never make mistakes and what I believe is universal truth. I name this as self-respect. Later on, I realized it was only ego. Let me share you an incident, which made me realize a few truths about myself. It was my college days and I went to see my doctor—with my parents—as I was not doing well. While returning back, we dropped in to Chandni Chowk, a marketplace for electrical goods. I asked for some screw needed to fit the tube light holder. The shopkeeper showed some and my mom suggested that we have these at home. I overlooked. She said again that she is sure that we have those and there is absolutely no need to buy more. I felt someone attacking my self-respect. Remember, I am a perfectionist who can never get wrong. In the front of the shop I started shouting at her. She felt insulted and miserable. As if this was not enough, I asked the shopkeeper to give me some of those screws and ignore whatever my mom had to say. What a moron I was. She was almost on the verge of crying. My dad was a silent spectator as he was not sure who is right. We returned home without talking on the way. After ten minutes, my mom came with those screws and I was dead. I was in shock, not on my behavior but because I was proved wrong. How can I be ever wrong? I didn’t have enough guts to say sorry even once for what I had done. Now, I wish I had done it. How relaxed she would have felt. But why would I say that? What will happen to my so called self-respect? Today, I have realized that it was only ego and I was totally wrong in my behavior. I am ready to say sorry and ask for forgiveness a million times for all my mistakes. Still my mistakes will outnumber this figure. I learned I can be wrong, I learned no one is perfect all the time, I learned that to hurt someone close to your heart will be painful for your whole life. Now, I accept my fault and ask for forgiveness.

Sorry mom I have hurt you many times, Sorry to all my friends, colleagues and also sorry to a lot of people I do not know but have hurt them knowing or unknowingly. Who knows, I would not get a second chance to say all this. May be my ego will again overpower me and I feel like deleting this post.