Anger Pays

I do not know why I want to share this experience of my life. One reason could be that maybe I gained and I am interested to share my recipe with the world.

I finished with my school and joined A.N.College, Patna for a bachelor’s degree. This was my first chance to study in a co-ed environment after spending 12 golden years in a boy’s school. In a class of 30 students, there were 22 guys and 8 girls. Not a bad ratio for a place like Patna. With a humble look and good in studies, it was not a problem for me to be in the good books of everyone. In 8 girls, 4 girls were typical ‘Bahenji’ and it was not a surprise when they offered to tie ‘Rakhi’ very next week we started talking. Now, I understood the meaning of prayer I used to recite all 12 years of my school days, “With him as our common Father, we are brothers and sisters to one another”. Even the married women were not ready to take any chance and offered the same.

I was left with 4 options and I zeroed in on one based on certain criteria such as eyes, height, color, etc. Though, later on I realized that she was using a contact lens of power -8, almost next to blind and was 3 years older to me. Somehow, my love story started with exchanging notes and assignments. I started working hard to be among the toppers and kept my jealousy alive for guys, who were potential threat, either with better looks or better brains. Regular chocolates and occasional gifts were also essential to have a lead over others.

After working hard on notes and assignments for an year, I though it was the best time to know if she loves me or not. One beautiful morning, I called her 30 minutes before our first lecture used to start and asked her what she thinks about us. As an obvious answers—though at that time I didn’t realize that it was an obvious answer—she said that we are good friends. And that was end of another love story. I was filled with anger from tip to toes. How can someone do this to me? At least, she could have said that she loves me? The world knows about our love story, my colleagues, juniors, lab assistant, professors, and even the peons. Though everyone made fun and it was more a topic of humor than love and romance.

From next day, I completely stopped talking to her. Not a single word for the next two years. I was adamant. She tried many time using various means but it was me. Two years, same class, but we have not exchanged a single word. It was tough but I made it. I was mad at her, I was upset but more than that I had to show that my love was true and the setback is real. If u cannot be a Devdas then it must be infatuation, not true love. I tried my best to grow my beard, look upset, and be alienated from all groups and social activities. Tryst me, this gives you a lot of satisfaction. You started finding pleasure in pain. And this is because your every action is guided by the failure you came across in life. Your failure becomes a part of your existence. You get addicted to pains and start feeling good that the pain is there with you. All these feelings were going well as planned until I met some of my successful friends who are always close to my heart as well as always touched the sky whenever n wherever they wanted in life. I got inspired and my failure turned into anger and fuelled my inspiration to achieve success in life. Then, my only aim was to have the best career in life, become the most successful person and show my girl–what she lost was worth much more attention and she has regret her whole life. Today, I can only laugh that how silly was I? How silly were my wishes? But I am glad that I did.

There are two ways to react after a break-up in relationship. First, cry, feel low, hurt yourself, and regret as he/she cannot be yours and you are incapable. Last but not the least, you can commit suicide. Now, you are a perfect looser in your eyes. Second, take a reverse gear, he/she does not deserve you, you can have a lot better options, and he/she was just someone trying to use you for own benefit and you are lucky that you are out of it. Now, it is time to show what you are worth. You have to prove this to him/her, to the world. As first option did not work for me, I went for the second one. To a surprise, it worked so well, I started studying for 15-16 hours. For the next one year, I put my all energy to crack entrance examinations for PG courses. The result, I made into several written and finally got selected for BIT, Mesra. To my surprise, I did not even remember her birthday. Today, it is almost 11 years since this incidence and I smile whenever I look back. It was either too childish or foolishness but we all go through the same situation at least once in our life. You feel dejected and the only person who loses in this kind of situation is none other than thyself. I do not know if I was right or wrong but what I gained is worth. I do not have any regret and I achieved whatever I wanted. Never blame yourself for whatever went wrong in your life. There are always a thousand things to cry and a thousand things to smile at any moment of your life. Let’s find the reason to be happy. Let’s make the best of everything we have. If something such as anger can be turned into so much profitable business, there are opportunities everywhere and in everything.