Yes, I Can be Wrong

It’s 4:21 PM and I am still sleeping. I know it’s a Sunday and I am supposed to relax but the reason is a little different today. Last night, I was reading a book and slept at 05:00 AM today morning. Not a usual thing for me. Neither had I read book in last six months nor did I wake up so late everyday. What was so special then?

One of my close friend suggested me (rather forced me) to read a book ‘A Walk to Remember’. Trust me, until now I have used a book only for the purpose to get a good night sleep. It works for me better than sleeping pills. Three to four pages are enough to leave me snoring. I started reading the book and in five days I completed ten pages. That’s me! Then, I do not what happened last night. Sometimes it is a do or die situation in your life and I believe in doing (only if the second option is dying). I started reading the book around 2:00 AM and finished the books in flat three hours. That’s also me! It’s a record, though personal one. And these three hours included time when I cried several times, felt the emotions, and also remembered someone special in my life. I don’t know why I did it but may be “God had a plan for me”. This was a beautiful love story. Not a very unique in every sense—in a way, a lot of other stories and movies had left me more touched and made me shed bucket of tears—but still I would call this one really beautiful.

Hope you are not wondering, why this topic is named ‘Yes I Can be Wrong’, when till now you haven’t read that I murdered someone by mistake. Seems like a Govinda movie when you can expect an item number just after the mourning. Let’s find a connection. When I woke up in the afternoon—after reading this book—I was thinking how short life could be? How much time we have to say sorry for our mistakes? When is the last time I said sorry to my mom for I shouted at her and the mistake was mine?

I think myself as a perfectionist. I never make mistakes and what I believe is universal truth. I name this as self-respect. Later on, I realized it was only ego. Let me share you an incident, which made me realize a few truths about myself. It was my college days and I went to see my doctor—with my parents—as I was not doing well. While returning back, we dropped in to Chandni Chowk, a marketplace for electrical goods. I asked for some screw needed to fit the tube light holder. The shopkeeper showed some and my mom suggested that we have these at home. I overlooked. She said again that she is sure that we have those and there is absolutely no need to buy more. I felt someone attacking my self-respect. Remember, I am a perfectionist who can never get wrong. In the front of the shop I started shouting at her. She felt insulted and miserable. As if this was not enough, I asked the shopkeeper to give me some of those screws and ignore whatever my mom had to say. What a moron I was. She was almost on the verge of crying. My dad was a silent spectator as he was not sure who is right. We returned home without talking on the way. After ten minutes, my mom came with those screws and I was dead. I was in shock, not on my behavior but because I was proved wrong. How can I be ever wrong? I didn’t have enough guts to say sorry even once for what I had done. Now, I wish I had done it. How relaxed she would have felt. But why would I say that? What will happen to my so called self-respect? Today, I have realized that it was only ego and I was totally wrong in my behavior. I am ready to say sorry and ask for forgiveness a million times for all my mistakes. Still my mistakes will outnumber this figure. I learned I can be wrong, I learned no one is perfect all the time, I learned that to hurt someone close to your heart will be painful for your whole life. Now, I accept my fault and ask for forgiveness.

Sorry mom I have hurt you many times, Sorry to all my friends, colleagues and also sorry to a lot of people I do not know but have hurt them knowing or unknowingly. Who knows, I would not get a second chance to say all this. May be my ego will again overpower me and I feel like deleting this post.